09 Apr A Channel of Peace: Leading with Patience When Emotions Run High
By: Mike Schmitt, Rubra Group, LLC
In a world that demands constant decision-making, the most courageous act might be not to decide at all—at least, not when we are at our most vulnerable.
Whether you’re leading a multigenerational family enterprise or guiding your family through uncertain times, the pressure to act can feel overwhelming. But haste born from emotional turbulence often leads to decisions we later regret. There’s wisdom in waiting—in letting the emotional tide recede before we chart our course.
It’s in these moments of inner upheaval that I’ve often turned to the Prayer of St. Francis—not merely as a spiritual balm, but as a leadership guide in disguise.
Lord, make me a channel of thy peace…
This first line alone is a reorientation. Not a demand for control, but a surrender to service. It reminds us that peace is not something we grasp, but something we transmit—if we allow ourselves to be still enough to carry it.
The Cost of Emotional Decisions
In family businesses, emotional decisions often come cloaked in the language of urgency: “We need to act now,” “If we don’t respond immediately, we’ll lose the opportunity.” But urgency is rarely the ally of wisdom.
Research and experience both show that decisions made during emotional peaks—whether anger, grief, or panic—tend to focus on short-term relief rather than long-term impact. That impulse to act is really an attempt to escape discomfort, not solve the problem. In doing so, we risk entrenching conflict, breaking trust, or compromising values.
Imagine instead a culture in your family or business that normalizes pausing. What if we had protocols not just for emergency responses, but for emotional emergencies—moments when someone says, “We need to hit pause so we can choose clarity over reactivity”?
There are times to make serious decisions and there are times to pause and wait for a bit of clarity before important decisions are made. We often hear about times that we should pause in taking decisive action. Death, Divorce, and other traumatic times we are tempted to make decisions because doing something is easier than just waiting. Sometime pausing and thinking about important decisions is the best thing to do though.
Patience as a Leadership Virtue
…that where there is hatred, I may bring love; that where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness…
The prayer continues with a call to transform the world’s pain—not by reacting to it, but by responding with intentionality. And response, unlike reaction, requires patience.
Patience is not inaction. It is a deliberate slowing down to allow deeper truths to emerge. It’s the maturity to recognize when we are being driven by ego, fear, or fatigue—and the humility to admit we may not see clearly just yet.
In the most effective family enterprises I’ve advised, the leaders are rarely the loudest or quickest to speak. They are the ones who know the power of a deep breath, of letting silence stretch until truth can speak.
Creating Your Own “Pause Protocol”
Here’s a practical step: create a “Pause Protocol” for your family business or household. It could be as simple as a shared agreement:
- No major decisions are made in the first 24 hours after a conflict.
- When emotions run high, one family member has the right to call a “cooling off” period—no judgment, no resistance.
- Revisit the issue only after reflection, prayer, or counsel.
You might even pair this with reading the Prayer of St. Francis together. Not as a religious exercise, necessarily, but as a centering ritual—a reminder of who you want to be as a family.
Returning to the Center
Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted; to understand, than to be understood…
This line invites us to shift our focus. When we’re emotional, our vision narrows—we want to defend, to be heard, to be right. But when we make space to comfort, to understand, we expand our awareness beyond the self. We begin to lead not from fear or reactivity, but from love and purpose.
This is not weakness. It is spiritual strength. It is emotional discipline. And in times of great stress, it is what allows us to endure—and lead—with grace.
Final Thought
In your family, in your enterprise, in your soul—create space for stillness. Let peace return before decisions are made. And when in doubt, return to the wisdom of the ages:
It is in giving that one receives.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life.
Let these words be your anchor in the storm. And may you, even in chaos, remain a channel of peace.
If this sparked something for you, forward it to a fellow leader or family member. Or reply — we’d love to hear how your family is cultivating a culture of stewardship.
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